To My Comrades at the Senior Center:

We must be consoled by the fact that aging is better than the alternative. We have to deal with certain symptoms: there is a squeal in your head that occasionally will change pitch -- you think you've tuned into Conelrad and it's time to hide in the basement. You become extremely interested in all aspects of elimination. Worst of all, there is this total stranger every morning in your bathroom, brushing her teeth (I've accosted her a time or two, and she either snarls back at me or ignores me altogether. It's better if you don't look at her through the mirror; she is downright scary.)

It means you aren't as limber as you remember you used to be. It means you can be conversing intelligently and all of a sudden a common word escapes you; it is just GONE. When it does come back, you try to use it several times just so it won't slip away from you again. Does this happen to Chinese and Russians and Germans? I'd like to know; it must be more difficult for them, they would have to forget the word in a foreign language...

I keep a list now of when younger people forgot things. I consult it every time I get that look ("she's getting forgetful"). This database is written in pencil on a 69 cent pocket tablet, alphabetized, chronologically organized the old-fashioned way, sorted by perpetrator...so that I can whip it out and say, yes, but remember when you forgot to...and they can't remember...

It means that when you go to the auto parts store to replace the windshield wiper you broke when you were shoveling your car out of a snowbank, the parts man says, "I've given you the senior discount and it comes to $9.33" and your arm, acting entirely out of its own, reaches out over the counter and grabs him by the T-shirt and pulls him halfway to you so that you are eyeball to eyeball, and you sweetly murmur, "Thank you," and put him back down again before he can get his wits about him and call for the shop foreman. Hmm.

It's a mixed feeling. I'd rather pay retail.

I am aware, too, that the older citizenry drives more carefully, and carefully means 35 miles per hour in the fast lane. I don't drive that slowly but slower reflexes may account for the fact that I can, I have, hit every deer that comes across my path on the highway. I am famous in my role as The Deerslayer. Wildlife officers ask for my autograph. It is good to be known for something that involves cars and hunting, a little Redneck-ish, something I've always aspired to.

And yet, and yet -- it's not over. It is pretty amazing to still be able to become excited and invigorated. The possibilities are literally endless. It was not so difficult to give up the privilege and potential of childbearing, was it? Nor should we feel hesitant about taking on new challenges, certainly most are less demanding that what we have already accomplished. The reservoir of the past supports and enhances the new arenas of interest for the future. History is full of late bloomers.

So here's my summation, to my comrades at the Senior Center:

1. Eat lots of fiber, and "take thou a little wine for the sake of they digestion" (Note the temperance qualifier...)
2. Put a 15 watt light bulb in the bathroom.
3. Walk as much as you can, while you still can.
4. Take the senior discount and say thank you. Period.
5. Find something interesting to do. It keeps you alive.