One morning, Blog woke up from his dream of peace and discovered that he could not pronounce "Ribit" any more. When he tried to say "Ribit" all that came out was "Rabbit" ... and that changed the whole meaning of his speeches, which left him wide open to criticism from the media.
He sought help from his friend Babbit the Rabbit, and Babbit said, "Well, it looks to me like you have an 'a' where the 'i' should be, and you have one too many b's in there." (Rabbits know about having too many b's because b stands for babies. They don't need any help along those lines as their babies come naturally and frequently and sometimes it is all a mother rabbit can do to raise them properly and keep them out of trouble. Rabbit was a Democrat.) (Think about Peter Rabbit in the cabbage patch, and Buffalo Bill Rabbit who found himself surrounded by angry Indians, and Killer Rabbit that even wolves avoid if he gets up surly.)
So Blog asked Rabbit, "How do I get rid of the 'a' and one of the 'b's?" and Babbit told him, "I just identify the problems; I have no idea how to fix them."
So Blog told him Goodbye and looked for help elsewhere. It was kind of like calling 1800MEDICARE and having the telephone answer with a busy signal at the other end. Or, kind of like having your 401(k) portfolio suddenly lose 30% of its value, and having the Secretary of the Treasury submit a 3-page solution that will require a 30% increase in your taxes to make it all better.
The next friend that Blog stumbled upon was Belly, the Jellyfish. He got that name because he had no arms, legs, or head. Just that big old stomach with some hangy-downs spewing out of it. They met, luckily for Belly right down by the seashore, because Blog had hopped down there trying to change his luck and luckily there Belly was, trying mightily to roll back into the surf. Blog squatted on Belly's hangy down strings and said, "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit," --that was all that came out.
But Belly, being a sharp Republican, knew what he meant and he said to Blog, "Go find a Bee's nest and see what you can do about getting rid of one of them," and just about that time the tide started going out and Blog kind of pushed Belly in the right direction and Belly jellied into the surf and was on his way to Cuba where he had to attend a meeting. He waved auf wiedersehn with his strings which means, until we meet again... which was highly unlikely because how many times have you seen a frog and a jellyfish in a conversation by the seashore, Marianne? Not even Uncle Charley has ever seen that.
However, now Blog had a clue and he went in search of a bee's nest. Before he found one, he literally ran into Mr. M. G'em, the lion. Now, running into a lion is not the best way to start a conversation, as you can well imagine. It as with great joy that Blog saw that Mr. M. G'em had just finished lunch and was feeling nice and easy. Blog croaked Rabbit a few times and the lion nodded as though he understood. Sometimes, saying nothing and smiling and nodding is the best of all answers; even better than all of the above.Mr. M. G'em pointed down the road with his tail, and Blog saw that he was being referred to Mr. 
Bear whose name was Care (he was the original care bear) and he had a bee's nest in his sticky paws and was just finishing it up.
Bear whose name was Care (he was the original care bear) and he had a bee's nest in his sticky paws and was just finishing it up.So. Blog hopped over to Care Bear, and noticed that a bee had fallen from the nest. Blog squished it. Now! That took care of getting rid of one 'b', for good.
He opened his mouth to speak, and he said Rabit, Rabit, just as naturally as if that were what he was supposed to say (even though it missed the mark by a little bit). Care Bear gave him a taste of the honey and kissed him on the mouth, but nothing happened. So Care Bear thought, "Well, you know, the story about kissing a lot of frogs before you find a handsome prince"... that doesn't stop you from trying again and again, whenever you get the chance. That story was originally written by political candidates, I think, but we can't stop this tale just for wondering about what a bear is thinking, now can we?
About this time, Blog looked down the road and spied a centipede, one of those insects that have a hundred legs or so. That's what centipede means, a hundred legs or so, give or take. I don't remember what the centipede's name was (you thought I couldn't get out of this one, eh?) so I can't share that with you, but old hundred legs waved at Blog and Blog went down to see what was happening. 100 legs already knew what Blog's difficulty was because he was photogenic. Like certain political candidates.So you know what happened? Since 100 legs had 100 eyes, he popped out one of his i's and gave it to Blog to use instead of the a he was stuck with, and now Blog was restored to his former glory. Now he could say,
Ribit, Ribit, RIBIT!
Just as often as he wanted to, never having to change it ever again.
The end.
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