Wildlife

Lately there has been a spate of publicity about a cultural social phenomenon. A new term has been coined, "cougars," and it refers to older women dating younger men. On May 28th, 2009 (just before shutting down its printing and delivery to our front door), The Denver Post headlined this story, "On the Prowl" at the same time that they identified the custom as acceptable and without a negative tone. Is that straddling the fence or what?

I suppose that if you can call older men who pursue younger women as "wolves" that the masterminds who coin new definitions for English words felt that a similar form of wildlife should be found for their female counterparts, and the word "cougar" jumped to mind. If we were to consider the natural world, no "wolf" in his right mind would tackle a "cougar," even on a dare, but there is no one to speak up for our real wildlife but me.

Let's face it, society has changed. The days of barefoot and pregnant are mostly over. Women are better educated, and are left single either because of divorce or death of a spouse. They are already working and earning good money, their children are grown, and yet they hanker for companionship. Are they to choose men their own age (if there are any around who are not burdened by baggage they have accumulated over time), or will they choose to be with younger men (more virile) who are not interested in a long term commitment? -- not that the woman herself has that for an agenda either.

My take on the problem is, let it be. It is not worth titillating over. It is a personal and private choice and relationships are, and should be, personal and private. What the dickens does a difference in age have to do with any of it, since it is not to be long term anyway? Sure, someone is bound to be hurt, in spite of the participants' denials. But we don't learn from success, we learn from failure, and that applies to social life as well as business or education or sports, or the practice of medicine. Thomas Edison was chided because he had tried about 1,000 different metals for his light bulb filament. Mr. Edison replied, well, we know 1,000 metals that don't work.

We may get this relationship thing down in time. But I doubt it. One adage does come to mind though, ladies. You play, you pay.