Dirty Fingernails Are Real

I've heard it suggested that one way to enhance your self-esteem is to stand mother naked in front of a three-way mirror and tell yourself out loud, "I love you." A better definition of narcissism cannot be found. I actually tried this once and easily remembered why I had stopped looking into mirrors even fully clothed more than 35 years ago. Maybe this system would work for young girls, but what have you got for us mature women who have been affected by gravity? That was my first question.



It's not enough, either, to count your blessings by telling yourself that you are still vertical, fairly quick-witted, and have achieved your hearth and sustenance needs. Sometimes, that does not achieve happiness by itself. Still you throb. Something is awry.



If your inability to solve your problems -- whatever they are -- awakes you at 2 in the morning, here's what you do: Get up. Turn on the light. Take a hot bath. Get dressed. Fix breakfast. Let the cat in, the dog out. Clean the refrigerator. Keep moving -- the key here is action. You'll find, after doing this for a while, that you'll need less sleep than you thought you did. You will have the cleanest refrigerator in six counties, and you will enjoy sunrises you may otherwise have missed. You'll get to bed earlier, too, but it's probably just you and the dog in it anyway. The dog will adjust.



Rent funny movies. If a "broken heart" is your problem, stop listening to love songs. No sense just wallowing in it! While you are nourishing yourself, take stock of your finances. Make a plan to get out of debt and follow it. Pay off the smaller bills in full, first, then progressively concentrate on the next larger, until you are economically unchallenged. No need to worry about money, too.



Give yourself time. Begin with the assurance that you will rise from the ashes smarter, more skeptical, healthier, and readier for the rest of what life has in store for you; or, more positively stated, what you have in store for life. And you will have the enormous advantage of knowing that you overcame the feeling of inadequacy -- you are truly liberated. And you grew up some, too.



The sun, meanwhile, continues to rise, the electric company still wants to be paid, the laundry accumulates, and you remember that one of the funniest comedy sketches you ever heard ended with Andy Griffith observing: "This whole thing has sure been a lesson to me."



For us, too.