Got Gout?

If Henry VIII’s physicians had access to cortisone, probably two of his wives could have escaped the chopping block. Poor Henry must have been miserable with his overweight body and dealing with the misery of the swollen arthritic feverish travesty of what used to be a dependable foot, capable of carrying a person around, kicking the gong around, kicking up heels, sloshing through autumn leaves, tippy-toeing around, dancing the light fantastic, you get the point. Or even going from bed to chair. As for me, I’d rather give birth than have gout.

Gout: what is it, anyway? What a miserable name for a miserable affliction. Here's the definition, according to WebMD: Gout is a kind of arthritis. It can cause an attack of sudden burning pain, stiffness, and swelling in a joint, usually a big toe. These attacks can happen over and over unless gout is treated. Over time, they can harm your joints, tendons, and other tissues. Gout is most common in men.

May be, but I can tell you it happens with women, too. Did you know that if you have gout that it endows your foot with the ability to detect a cat treading across the floor two houses away?

Gout has a radar that can detect anything that moves, or even thinks about encroaching, into its space. The slightest threat of a waft of breeze within a mile and a half will send it into defensive mode. Don’t even think about coming any closer! shrieks the gout-afflicted appendage.

There is one saving grace to this malady. If they give you cortisone for gout, it will also relieve the pain in your back, your shoulders, your hands, everything else that suffers from arthritis. Too bad the relief is so fleeting; be thankful that it appears for even a little while.

A cold water soak helps. They say it is caused by too much uric acid in the system. The common understanding is that translates into too much of the good life, high eating, excess drinking, over-indulgence. If that is so, then what is a simple peasant woman like me doing in this picture? I suspect that I wasn’t caught doing something else I needed to be corrected for, so I was thrown this challenge just to test my character, my patience, and my pursuit of happiness.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Last year was memorable. It was a year when climate change and the President of the United States appeared to have teamed up to provide regular everyday citizens with more than they ever bargained for. It was a year when Christians, Jews and Arabs were basically trying to eliminate each other from this worldly existence in spite of the fact that each religion calls for love and peace.

Today (well, recently) the stock market has fallen to inexplicable lows. Seems like the majority of the lenders (crooks) in this country went against prudent rules and caused the death of our real estate. The house you and I have lived in before creative financing set in lost at least 1/3rd of its value, through no fault of our own. The auto industry, a giant in its time, has failed because of stupidity. I am not a historian, but to me it seems like the decline and fall of governments and civilizations (the Romans, the Maya, the Egyptians, the Turks, the Persians, the British, the French, the Nazis, the Bolshevics,) have all been caused for one reason—the rot at the top. The good news is, that leaves most of us out of the causing and opens the door to solutions.

I wish I knew what that solution is!

Perhaps if we could have managed these problems, we wouldn’t have botched it up so profoundly. It is comforting that while life continues to become more complex on a global basis, it is still possible in our personal and professional lives to center on our values and goals, assess our strengths and weaknesses, and not allow the problems thrust upon us to swallow us up.

All of us can’t have 40 acres and a mule, an ax, and a rifle. We must start over with what we do have. Hopefully, in the bag of tricks that you have, (besides a partner who cares for you, and children who are healthy) you have a strong back and a will to win. Hard and difficult times bring forth tough and versatile people. The American Dream was not thought out during times of plenty or justice. “Summer soldiers and sunshine patriots” existed during the 1700’s, but that didn’t stop Americans who put it all on the line for independence by sacrificing and winning the chance for themselves and us, their descendants, to be able to work out of a mess, and in a bloodless manner (for us, not for them).

Sometimes, there is no way around a problem except through it. By now, all of us should have a healthy sense of skepticism. We are not fish, ready to bite on any bait or promises from politicians. All of the technology gained in the last 25 years is not for nothing. We need to use it in a positive manner. We need to ask our children to become either entrepreneurs, or if they are still at home, to be of benefit to the family in other ways. Empty nest? Give support and encouragement to your “independent” children. (Get even with them—move into their house). Bad as times may become, we don’t live in shanties next to the garbage dump. Our problems with obesity might actually be solved if a few meals are skipped.

Think of it as the Game of Life, or Monopoly, which it is.

There is no Get Out of Jail Free card. But the opportunity and possibility to Pass Go, and Collect $200, still exists and will soon come around for us again.

The Domicile

Thanks to the warm heart of the newest member of our extended family, I was recently treated to visiting the Phoenix Botanical Garden. One of the displays was a path created in the beautiful setting of Papago Park—a part of the desert surrounded by reddish hills covered in cave-like openings—a surreal landscape. The theme of the trail was how the Indians lived here several hundred years ago. They invented the ramada—a shelter made with the barest minimal resources—sticks on top of supports to provide shade, but not much in the way of keeping off the rain—but then, rain in the desert? Not a problem of everyday life for them. I don’t know what they did when it rained…but getting wet was a sure thing.

Their houses were not much more than a bare covering, either. They bent down poles like an overturned bowl and thatched the cracks between them with grasses and shrubs, anything they could lay their hands on. There was one opening in the south? East? But the structure sure didn’t keep out flies or mosquitoes or wind or rain or rattlesnakes or unfriendly visitors (the neighboring tribe).

One wonderful idea they had was to keep the kitchen out of the main dwelling place, thereby forgoing the chore of cleaning up after a meal so you could go to sleep in a neat environment. Their kitchen was under a ramada just a hop skip and a jump away from the living room—the bowl domicile with the southern exposure. The floor was dirt, which I must presume turned into mud when it did rain.

Now, it gets chilly in the desert even in the summer at night. Imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for them in the winter “living area” when it rained and the wind blew, and they had a sick baby and were hungry and fighting all intruders who would have liked to take away from them even what little existed. Yet, they survived long enough to pass the torch of life along to their descendants and managed to get through the stone age times and live to build casinos and make do with what they had, just like their grandparents.

At least the plains Indians covered their teepees with animal skins to make the “houses” wind and rain repellent, and to keep them warm. And the house was mobile—just use the supports as portage material and roll up the skins, let the women carry them, and be on your way. The Arizona Indians had to start all over again if the game ran out or the neighbors got on their nerves, or whatever reason they had for pulling up stakes. Maybe they stayed because they had no place else to go, unlike those of us who live here in the winter by choice—an amusing thought. Progress, it is wonderful.

The shaman made house calls—what else, there was no hospital. It was important for him or her to have good bedside manners, as big trouble could occur if it was decided that he didn’t know what he was doing. Imagine what it was like, being born naked in a hostile culture—the desert is full of thorns and poison—and to really live off the land without a wheel or a steel ax or a written language. They may not have lived a long time, but I bet it seemed like a long time.

Never deprecate indoor plumbing.